How I have coped with my husband’s self-death

Social worker Annette de la Porte shares the heart-rending story of her husband’s chronic depression, which lasted for 35 years and ended in self-death. She freely speaks about living with André’s depression and the possibility of self-death, finally losing him in May 2020. Annette shares the depth of her grief and explains how faith and Emotional Logic, a practical tool for befriending our emotions, have helped her cope and grow.  

annette-de-la-porte-emotional-logic.jpg

If you are new to podcasts, simply click on the arrow to listen to Annette and Mariette, or on the download button to download the conversation onto your device.


In ep. 19 of the podcast series Calm, Clear and Helpful, Annette touches on

  • how André’s military service as a chaplain traumatised him on a level from which he never recovered

  • specific ways in which having depression affected André and his relationship with Annette

  • practical strategies for supporting and communicating with a loved one who has depression

  • the fact that taking responsibility for your beloved with depression has its limits

  • why the loss of a dream, such as the expectation of a happy marriage, should be deliberately mourned

  • André’s death wish

  • Annette finding André’s body after his self-death

  • the grief tasks that arose after André’s death

  • practical ways to manage grief, such as a grief circle

  • what Emotional Logic is, and how it provides a visual map of our emotions and illuminates our values

  • how long it takes to grieve a loved one

  • Annette’s three best tips for grieving.

    In this podcast episode Annette recommends the book Grieving the loss of a loved by H. Norman Wright.

The De la Porte family

The De la Porte family

Annette clarifies Emotional Logic, a tool to help us understand our emotions, enabling us to process our pain.

 

Annette writes about being an adventurer at heart, travelling with live chickens, tadpoles, love, and loss.

Hold onto Him by Annette de la Porte is available at  https://growwithannette.co.za/hold-onto-him/

 

You can find the free podcast series Calm, Clear & Helpful on iTunes, Spotify, Player FM and Iono.fm.

 

Luister na Annette se ervaring van saamleef met geliefdes met depressie en haar praktiese raad oor die simptome, behandeling en die handhawing van jou eie emosionele balans.  

Contact details

Annette de la Porte is a social worker, Emotional Logic coach and CPD trainer, motivational speaker and author who lives on the Cape West Coast. She has a private practice and works in person and online.

Email: annette@growwithannette.co.za

Tel: 083 794 3537

Website: https://growwithannette.co.za/

 

Luister ook na Riette Rust se episode oor liefde, selfdood, naasbestaandes se verantwoordelikheid, en vergifnis.

Please note:

These articles and podcasts contain general information, intended purely for educational purposes. It should never replace professional evaluation, discussion or guidance.

If you have suicidal thoughts or experience emotional pain, immediately phone the free SADAG helpline at 0800 567 567 or SMS 31393 (both available 24/7) or contact a qualified medical professional.

Previous
Previous

5 things you need to know before you get married

Next
Next

BWRT: ‘n doeltreffende oplossing vir post-traumatiese stressindroom