Mona-Lize Moolman on an unconventional spin, wiping away the tears, and insects as pets
An energy therapist and psychologist writes about romance in the workplace, questioning the norm, a double-edged sword and embracing more sloth spirit energy.
1 What did you enjoy doing most as a child?
I was quite a sensitive child, and because there is quite a large age gap between my brother and I, I spent a fair amount of time alone and in my own little world, where nature and animals played a massive role. At quite a young age, you would generally find me outside, digging in the garden, looking at and collecting rocks – and sometimes even insects. I would put them in a box with plant material and name them – they would be my pets. I remember there was an occasion where I went to visit my grandparents during the school holidays, and when my mom cleaned my room, she found a collection of rocks in my cupboard and thought her child was crazy. When I came home, I was terribly upset at the fact that she had thrown them out. I loved being outside, and thinking back, my connection to nature was very evident when I was little – which I lost as I was thrown into the thralls of teenage-dom. The connection with animals never disappeared though, and still today, where there is a dog, I tend to gravitate – I cannot resist their beautiful essence.
As I grew older and life became more challenging, as it does by default, I learnt to look at the bigger picture. I became a bit more social and connected with others at a deeper level. My friends and my tribe became very important to me, and spending time with them was what really added meaning to my life. There are some that have stayed, and some that have left, but I will be forever grateful for the connections I made, and for what I’ve learnt from them.
2 When you look back on your teenage years, were there signs of the shape your career would eventually take?
Absolutely, yes, but I didn’t see it in that moment. I have always been the friend that everyone came to when they needed help or advice. Ever since I can remember, I was the one to wipe the tears away, and I didn’t actually mind. It became a very comfortable space for me quite early on in my life.
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My parents mentioned Psychology, and I was very interested in the field, but at that point I was keener on the Forensic side of things. I wanted to be an FBI profiler, but soon realized that that track might not be for a sensitive soul. It took me some time to finally decide whether I wanted to go down that route or not, and when I finished school, I still wasn’t 100% sure. I almost went to study law, but I saw too many people drop out because they were unsure about whether that was what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives, so I opted to go abroad and gain some more life experience before making a commitment to a career.
I went to the UK – like many South Africans in my age group did, and tried to gain a bit of life experience before making a choice – and ended up landing in the corporate sector by chance. Even though I did really well in that realm at a young age, I knew it wasn’t what I was destined to do, and eventually, after returning to SA, and still working a full-time corporate job, decided at 24 that it was time to start studying psychology and to make the transition into healing people. I was exposed to spirituality at a young age as well, so I knew there was something more to this than meets the eye – I knew there would have to be an unconventional spin somewhere.
Also listen to how Mona-Lize helps clients resolve the root cause of health challenges by combining talk therapy with holistic modalities.
3 You never stop asking questions. In which way has this trait brought challenges on your path, as well as blessings?
This question made me laugh – because questioning everything all the time is a double-edged sword. The work is never done. A memory of my std. 1 (gr. 3) teacher popped up in my mind – she told me that in inquisitive child is a clever child – and that stuck, and, I think, formed a frame of reference. I remained someone who questioned, and I think it was quite challenging for my parents at times. When they used to comment on it, I would repeat what this teacher said to me – and laugh.
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The questioning caused some drama for me at school, because I really wanted to know why we were doing the things we were doing – why did we HAVE to solve the math problem in that way, if I could get to the answer in a different way – or why did we HAVE to follow what the book said when there were other options, etc. This was a challenge for me, I have to admit, and thinking back, I think it was a challenge for my teachers as well. There were times, and sometimes it still happens, that it takes a little longer for me to understand or grasp something, because I need to know how and why things happen and work the way they do. It can sometimes still cause a bit of havoc in my mind, because I cannot always let go of something unless I can explain it in some way, shape or form… It can cause a lot of overthinking, and sometimes, cause great distraction when there are other things that need to happen. It happened during my studies as well, and the lecturers weren’t fond of the fact that I believed we needed to dig deeper with clients and patients – that there was always a deeper level of why and how, and that purely medicating someone, and talking in circles for hours, would not resolve the problem but only alleviate the symptom.
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I do see it as much more of a blessing than a curse though, because it has put me on the road that I am today. If I wasn’t someone who questioned the norm, I wouldn’t be able to do the work I do, in the way that I do. It’s the questioning that allows me to get to the root cause of a problem and to resolve it. The detective archetype is rather strong in my Archetypal and Astrological charts, so I guess it has always been a part of my make-up, but sparked by those influences I mentioned earlier. Questioning the status quo has allowed me to become very self-aware, and to easily be able to process things that happen in my own life, because I understand why I react the way that I do, and I am able to work on the “why” continuously, to keep improving and to keep getting stronger and wiser – there is still very much to learn though. It has helped me to process challenges in a much quicker fashion, and it has also helped me to heal so many aspects of myself that needed attention – and this is exactly what I try to do with my clients. We have to keep asking why, and eventually, we get to the root cause of the problem – and once that is addressed, the symptoms of the problem disappear. When we question why they act or react in certain ways, and why they repeat certain cycles – that’s when we truly get to the bottom of things, resolve them, and that’s when I can enable them to navigate life moving forward, regardless of what might be thrown at them. The challenges will never stop – but we can stop reacting in the same way, and start responding instead. The big thing to remember though, is that the school of life is exactly that – a school. The lessons will always keep coming, and if we truly do what we are supposed to do in this life, we will never stop learning – we just need to ask the questions. Something else that I have had to realize though, is that there are some answers we will never find – and that too is OK. We are not always ready for the answers – and when we are, they will appear, so don’t be too hard on yourself when you’re not getting the answers right away.
4 Where did you meet your husband and what do you enjoy doing together?
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We met at work! Way before we decided to both make rather big career shifts. We worked together and became friends, but never crossed the line – I was way too professional 😉 There was obviously something noticeable, because I remember the branch manager at the company calling us both in, separately, and telling us that romance in the work place would be frowned upon. Even though we were just friends at that point, it seemed to upset my husband quite a bit – which gave me a clue. LOL.
He left the company to pursue his dream career, and we remained in contact – things developed from there. We love travelling, so we enjoy exploring new places together, but we are also both quite driven and inquisitive, which really creates a space for more learning and some serious conversations. We make space to allow each other to chase our dreams and pursue our passions, which is something that I am so very grateful for, but when we have our time, we enjoy the presence. We are both massive animal people, so our pets are extremely important to us, and we enjoy just “being” too. It’s about being in the present moment, and doing what feels good in the “now” for us.
5 You regularly spend time in the Middle East. What about these periods do you savour?
I lived in the UAE permanently for 3 years, and the lessons I learnt there are invaluable to me. Yes, I still go there often to see my husband and have a registered business there, so a lot of the time spent there is related to work, but on a personal level, what the UAE shows me, without fail, every time – is acceptance. Not tolerance, but acceptance.
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We don’t realise that there is a difference between tolerance and acceptance – the Emirati people embrace all who enter their country, accept them for who they are, and appreciate them for who they are and what they have to offer. I have had many bad encounters in the UAE too, but these were with expats, and not with the local people themselves. It was an eye-opening experience for me to see how all the differences were embraced – without in any way compromising their own belief systems. For me, the Emirati people, in essence truly practice what they preach. Even when they do not agree with you, they respect your opinion, and take you for who you are. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but this has always been my experience.
Working and spending time there also broadens your world in a wonderful way. Because it is such a melting pot of different cultures and nationalities, your exposure to this is inevitable. We learn, and gain respect and understanding through knowledge. It has definitely made me less ignorant when it comes to different points of view and belief systems – and if there is one concept that the Middle East has really brought home for me, it is that we are all en route to the same destination, we are just taking a different road.
6 How do you experience living in Cape Town?
Man, I am Capetonian down to my soul – even though I didn’t grow up here. My husband and I moved to Cape Town in 2014, so it has been home to me for 10 years – even though three of those years were spent based mostly in the UAE. I always keep coming back to Cape Town, and in a way, I think I always will. It’s just the energy here – it resonates with me at a very, very deep level, and I seem to be at my most centered and grounded here.
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I do sometimes become frustrated when things don’t move at a faster pace (and with the traffic) but it has also been brought to my attention recentlyd that perhaps I need to slow down a little bit. Life doesn’t always have to happen at a million miles per hour. I’ll let you know when I get there – but I am working on my embracing some more sloth spirit energy in my life. LOL.
Cape Town, in my opinion, has it all. We have the kindest people, who are aware, and becoming more and more aware, at a really great pace. I get to go an read my book on the beach in summer, and I get to snuggle in front of a fireplace in winter. Wherever you go, there is a richness in culture and history – and let’s not even talk about the beauty we get to appreciate all around us, every day. When I am in Cape Town, I am HOME.
As with everywhere in the world, we experience challenges, but somehow, they don’t seem to matter as much here. Well, not to me, anyway. I tend to be a lot more bothered by load shedding when I am in Gauteng than when I am in Cape Town. 😉 The only way I can describe it, is that when I land back in Cape Town, regardless of where I have been, if feels like a big exhale. Like I have been holding my breath for as long as I have been away. If you haven’t visited – please do. You will never regret it.
7 In your view, what are some of the deepest needs members of our society experience?
Everyone just wants to be loved, accepted for who they truly and authentically are, and to be seen. When these three things are present in our lives, we tend to feel like we belong… In this lies the challenge, and the great irony of life. We tend to seek the love, the acceptance and the acknowledgment from external sources, when in fact – they can all be found and should come from within us. That’s when you really blossom – when you are able to give yourself what you so desperately crave from external sources. When your only source of these these things, is external, you are actually creating some possible drama for yourself in the future – because those external sources might disappear from your life at any point…and that’s when life can become terribly shaky. I see this happen so often and it hits you like a bolt of lightning. We all experience life in different ways, so of course, this won’t be the case for everyone – but it seems to hit somewhere, at some point in life.
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Something else that I would like to mention – especially in the times that we are living in - is the importance of human connection. Even though we shouldn’t rely on others to give us the love, acceptance and acknowledgement that we so seek, that doesn’t mean that we do not need human connection. With the development of AI, and the fact that we are all so extremely comfortable with working and operating in isolation so much of the time, we are losing that human connection at quite a rapid pace. I was listening to an interview with Mo Gawdat regarding the AI revolution recently, and he made quite a bold statement that I tend to agree with. He said that human connection was going to become the most valuable commodity on the face of this planet in the near future. Yes, we need to be comfortable with our own company, and we need to be OK with being alone, but we were made to connect with others – it adds to our happiness at a whole-istic level, and though there should always be balance in everything, don’t let go of those connections. They matter a great deal. We are all one consciousness in the end – don’t let go of that.
8 What is your big dream in terms of Health and Healing?
I dream of a world where people realise that Western Medicine and Holistic Medicine work together. They are not, and do not have to be, mutually exclusive. I am so excited and looking forward to the day when holistic and western practitioners sit together, around one table, and discuss how to completely heal a patient from all the various perspectives - working with a patient in the way that they are most comfortable with and that resonates with them completely. That really excites me! That is the intention for my work, and why I want to wake up in the mornings – most of the time. 😉
About Mona-Lize
Mona-Lize Moolman is an energy therapist, psychologist and owner and founder of Metanoia Transformation, based in South Africa and Dubai and working internationally. She is trained in Traditional Psychology, Kinesiology, EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), and Meridian Psychotherapy, and is currently pursuing further studies in Archetypal Consulting.
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Website: https://www.metanoia-sa.com/
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Photographs of Mona-Lize Moolman: supplied.