Why kindness can boost your health and happiness

Who would have thought that being kind has scientifically proven benefits? In “The five side-effects of kindness” Dr. David Hamilton describes how the brain, heart and immune system benefit from their owner’s kind thoughts and actions. In fact, kindness kan relieve depression, slow the ageing process and strengthen relationships. Experiment with these practical guidelines to enhance your life on different levels – they’re free!

You’re late for work as it is, and traffic is moving at a painfully slow pace. On top of this, a pedestrian clearly bent on crossing the street looks expectantly in your direction. How do you react?  

You may feel that letting her take the gap is to her advantage rather than yours, but this is not necessarily the case. Scientific studies have shown that goodwill benefits the giver in many – often unexpected - ways. In The five side-effects of kindness (Hay House, 2017) David Hamilton describes how compassionate behaviour affects our happiness, health, rate of ageing and relationships. Dr. Hamilton, who holds a doctorate in organic chemistry, goes on to demonstrate that kindness is contagious: a single thoughtful gesture can eventually affect countless people.

What are the five "side effects" of kindness?

 1. Kindness makes us happier

Have you ever helped someone on the spur of the moment, perhaps carrying their groceries up a flight of stairs, and then felt really good? Several research studies confirm that compassionate actions make us happier. At the University of California, volunteers were asked to perform five good deeds every week for a period of six weeks, while the control group did not act more considerately. The participants’ kind acts included donating blood, putting money into strangers' parking meters, or helping a child with homework. Within six weeks, they felt significantly happier; the control group did not. Participants who managed to do five good deeds in one day reported the greatest increase in well-being.

Another study required participants to record every single item on which they spent money during a month-long period. Their levels of happiness were constantly monitored. Those who regularly spent money on others, were the happiest.

Even small children grow happier when they are being kind.

One research study involved children under two years old who played with a puppet and received treats. Their highest happiness levels were recorded when they were “giving” toys or sweets to the puppet.

In a Japanese research study, participants were asked to carefully record every act of kindness. Every participant’s level of happiness increased, but 30% felt considerably happier. The conductors of the study inferred that these participants had not been aware of the value they added to others' lives, and that their self-esteem had increased.

"We are wired for moments of connection," Dr. Hamilton explains. "We can create our own feel-good moments by consciously helping other in small ways, even if it's just picking up a pen that was dropped."

Tune into the free, weekly podcast series Calm, Clear & Helpful on Spotify, iTunes, Player FM or Iono.fm and learn how to be happier and have healthier relationships.

2. Kindness contributes to a healthy heart  

Loving action, even when only experienced by watching a video on social media, can give us that warm, fuzzy feeling. The reason for this is the so-called love hormone, oxytocin. Oxytocin - involved during sex, emotional intimacy, when a mother gives birth or breastfeeds her baby – also helps people of all ages to bond with each other or with animals. It promotes understanding and trust.

Oxytocin contributes to a healthy heart, as the “Roseto effect" has proved. When the 1960 census showed that Roseto, a town in the state of Pennsylvania, dramatically differed from other states in the United States in the sense that no resident under the age of 45 had died of heart disease, scientists launched a study lasting for 50 years. They discovered that this situation had nothing to do with Roseto's water, atmosphere, or other aspects that came under scrutiny.

It was due to the strong community ties and culture of kindness characteristic of the town. Compassion produces oxytocin, and oxytocin relaxes artery walls. More blood flows through the arteries, blood supply to the heart and other organs is increased, and blood pressure is reduced. This helps prevent heart attacks and strokes.

Dr. Hamilton describes six practical ways that can aid the production of oxytocin:

• Allow yourself to be inspired

When we perceive kindness by, for example, watching an inspiring movie, we secrete oxytocin.

• Comfort someone

Comforting words and behaviors increase the oxytocin levels of both the giver and the receiver.

• Seek warm emotional contact

The gratifying sense of connection is linked to the production of oxytocin.

• Support others

When we give (or receive support), our oxytocin levels rise. Repeated positive interactions can lead to a sustained decrease in blood pressure.

• Imagine kind actions

Just as the thought of a stressful situation can trigger stress hormones, the thought of a loved one or loving action can cause oxytocin to flow.

• Hugs

The Covid-19 pandemic has taught us that hugging should be considered risky behaviour, but we can bear in mind that hugging under the right circumstances can give heart health a boost.  

 3. Kindness slows down the ageing process

The most common signs of ageing are wrinkles, muscle loss, joint wear and tear, and a greater susceptibility to disease and injury. However, two people of the same age can seem very dissimilar. This is because our chronological age (the number of years since we were born) and our biological age (the apparent age of our body) can differ.

Factors such as diet, activity levels, outlook, stress management and the extent to which we act humanely play a greater role in our lifespan than genetics.

Read how to flourish while growing older.

Dr. Hamilton lists seven ageing processes that can be inhibited by kindness:

• Muscle deterioration

Muscles do not merely deteriorate as we get older; they are also renewed. Muscle cells constantly regenerate themselves. Ageing is only noticeable when deterioration occurs faster than renewal. Scientists have found that oxytocin promotes cell renewal.

• Decreased vagus nerve tone

The vagus nerve helps our bodies to rest, convert food into energy and repair wear and tear. It allows our organs to work together and protects us from ageing. "Compassion and kindness strengthen this nerve," writes Dr. Hamilton. "The Buddhists' loving-kindness meditation - wishing others peace, health and well-being - has been studied by scientists. Findings show that when subjects have been doing this meditation on a daily basis for six weeks, the tone of their vagus nerve has increased significantly. "

• Inflammation

The vagus nerve is also linked to inflammation, the immune system's response to an injury. Inflammation carries blood, oxygen and nutrients to the wound to help it heal. However, when inflammation gets out of control, it causes chronic low-grade inflammation that can damage the heart, arteries, brain, skin and internal organs. This is linked to cancer, heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, multiple sclerosis and Alzheimer's disease and plays a crucial role in ageing. According to research studies, the inflammation levels of regular practitioners of the loving-kindness meditation were significantly lower.

• Oxidative stress

An excess of free radicals in the body leads to oxidative stress, which in turn causes wrinkles, plaque formation in our arteries, concentration problems and memory loss. Stress, anxiety and continuous anger trigger oxidative stress. Oxytocin, on the other hand, counteracts free radicals - another health benefit which stems from kind thoughts and actions.

• Reduced production of nitrogen monoxide

Nitric oxide controls blood pressure, renews blood vessels, fights infection and promotes concentration. A decrease in nitric oxide, often due to ageing, can impair male sexual function, slow muscle recovery after exercise and impair memory. It also contributes to heart attacks, strokes and Alzheimer's disease. Researchers have found that regular practice of the loving-kindness meditation significantly increases nitric oxide levels.

Seeing the best in others and listening attentively also raises these levels.

• Shortening of telomeres

Telomeres stop the end of chromosomes from fraying or sticking to each other, much like the plastic tops on the ends of shoelaces. They help ensure that DNA gets copied properly when cells divide.

The length of telomeres is used to determine biological age. The longer they remain intact, the slower we age. Scientific studies show that emotional warmth and support have a measurable effect on the length of telomeres.

• Deterioration of the immune system

Ageing and stress are both associated with a weaker immune system. A more positive attitude and kindness reduce stress and thus indirectly strengthens our immune system. A well-known Harvard study has indicated a direct link between our immune system and goodwill, empathy, compassion, love and inspiration.

The salivary immunoglobulin of a group of students was checked before and after they watched an inspiring video of Mother Teresa assisting people. Salivary immunoglobulin is an important component of the immune system. Immediately after watching the video, the students’ immunoglobulin levels were significantly higher, and an hour later this effect was still apparent. This is now known as the Mother Teresa effect.

4. Relationships benefit from kindness (and oxytocin!)

 What would you consider the primary character trait that people look for in a romantic partner? An attractive appearance, perhaps, or good financial prospects? A research study involving more than 10,000 people between the ages of 20 and 25 on six continents identified the number one need: kindness.

Goodness has always been crucial to human survival, writes Dr. Hamilton: "Our genes were shaped over millions of years. Le’s suppose one ancient tribe had gene A, and another tribe gene B. Gene A - let’s call it the benevolent gene - makes people willing to share their resources and look after each other. Gene B is the ‘I come first’ gene, and these people are only concerned about their own safety and well-being.

"In nature, energy and strong connections are core components of survival. The tribe with gene A expends less energy because only some of their members go foraging for food, which is then shared by all. The tribe with gene B all go looking for food.

“Likewise, the tribe with gene A have powerful connections, which makes them strong and enables them to survive more easily. In time, their gene pool contains more A genes than B genes.

“The A gene in the story is the one that produces oxytocin! It is estimated to be about 500 million years old. It has helped us survive and has become part of many of our biological systems. That is why we are affected by it in so many ways.

“Research by prof. John Gottman from the USA, renowned for his work in marriage therapy, shows that benevolent actions can make or break a couple’s relationships. By watching a couple for only 15 minutes, he was able to predict with 94% accuracy whether they would still be together ten years later.

“Gottman talks about a magic ratio of 5:1 in couples' interaction. As long as we do or say five positive things for every negative thing, the relationship is likely to work. Examples of positive things are love, support, kindness, affection and purposeful listening. Negative things include contempt, hostility, anger, sharp judgements, selfishness and indifference.

Image: Pexels

Read how Imago relationship therapy can help you deepen or recover emotional intimacy.

5. Kindness is contagious

When someone treats us compassionately, it lifts our spirits. "It also encourages us to act in the spirit of goodwill," writes Dr. Hamilton. Research shows the recipients and even the witnesses of good deeds are motivated to do something nice for someone as well. Subjects who have been exposed to the kindness of others are inclined to be more helpful and generous - also in the workplace. Read more about this in The five side-effects of kindness.

Kindness, depression and the “helper’s high”

• Depression is a complex phenomenon and there is no instant cure. People with depression withdraw easily and reaching out to others may feel counterintuitive.

"When we can find the energy to focus on the suffering and needs of others, our natural tendency to act compassionately emerges. This can gradually ease the burden of depression,” Dr. Hamilton explains.

Research indicates that volunteers and other people who act benevolently experience a helper's high. In one study with 3296 subjects, 95% felt good after helping someone, 80% still experienced positive feelings hours or days later, 57% experienced greater self-esteem and 29% reported an increase in energy.

• According to experts, kindness changes the chemical composition of the brain. It increases the release of the feel-good hormones dopamine and serotonin, the "love hormone" oxytocin, as well as endorphins - the brain's natural, harmless version of morphine and heroin. Kindness can give us a legal high!

• Depression is sometimes accompanied by conditions such as social anxiety. Oxytocin can improve such conditions because it impairs activity in the amygdala, the brain area that processes fear and anxiety. Research studies show that people with social anxiety who show kindness to others report an increase in self-confidence and social ease, and a decrease in the avoidance of anxiety-inducing situations.

• An extensive study found that people who act as volunteers show fewer signs of depression. This phenomenon is more prominent in people aged 65 and older. The inference was that older people often feel useless, which changes when they reach out. Another study showed that volunteers of 65 and older had fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety and a stronger will to live than the control group.

The so-called kindness paradox can be summed up in this way: The more you give, the 'richer' you become. Kindness creates a win-win situation. By applying these guidelines in our day-to-day lives, we can experience a lifetime of beneficial "side effects".

More information:
The five side-effects of kindness (Hay House, 2017) by Dr. David Hamilton is available on Amazon, or visit https://drdavidhamilton.com/my-books/

Images: Unsplash, unless indicated otherwise. Models used.

This article originally appeared in rooi rose.