The four portfolios of positive living and ageing
Growing older can impact every aspect of our lives. Counselling psychologist Dr Hannetjie van Zyl-Edeling discusses research findings and practical ways to optimise our physical, psychological, financial and social “portfolios” to ensure quality of life in our later years. She mentions the rectangularisation of ageing, our 6 crucial needs, being proactive, savouring life, and having fun!
If you are new to podcasts, simply click on the arrow to listen to Hannetjie and Mariette, or on the download button to download the conversation onto your device.
In ep. 129 of the weekly podcast series Calm, Clear & Helpful, counselling psychologist and accredited mediator Dr. Hannetjie van Zyl-Edeling touches on
the elements of healthy ageing and positive living
why our physical, psychological, financial and social “portfolios” are the cornerstones of a successful life
why ageing for BabyBoomers looks completely different from ageing in previous generations
statistics connected to the so-called Age Wave
why longevity should be accompanied by good health
3 important fears associated with physical health and ageing
whether going downhill as we age is necessary: the squaring of the survival curve
practical steps we can take to remain as healthy as possible for as long as possible, including building new neural pathways
factors influencing our mental and emotional health, including research regarding a positive mindset
our 6 basic needs that must be met: security, variety, significance, connection, contribution, personal growth – and our “umbrella need”, namely for attention
why “your genes load the gun and your behaviour pulls the trigger”
practical ways to move your thoughts on ageing in a more positive direction
how Hannetjie practises mindfulness in her own life
the concept of time affluence - either a blessing or a curse!
the fear of loneliness, how it differs from solitude and isolation, and generational isolation
Gene Cohen’s concept of a social portfolio, with quadrants based on group or individual efforts and on higher or lower mobility efforts
longevity and your financial portfolio, no matter your age
practical pointers regarding supplementing your income
Hannetjie’s 4 favourite tips for positive ageing.
In this podcast episode Hannetjie mentions Mick Jagger; Ken Dychtwald’s Age WaveYouTube talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL54CgGtOqY; the glymphatic system; the Insight Timer app; the six-to-ten-second hug; the Nun Study; Martin Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology; Eckhart Tolle’s “being in the moment”; Gene Cohen’s book The mature mind: the positive power of the aging brain; TED talks by Susan Pinker and Robert Waldinger; U3A, the University of the Third Age; the comedian George Burns; and Dry Bar Comedy.
Distilled wisdom: a guide to positive living and ageing by Dr. Hannetjie van Zyl-Edeling (eBook) is available at Amazon.
Scroll down for more info on Hannetjie, including her contact details, and to read George Burns’ entertaining “How to live to be 100 or more.”
Good news: ageing needn’t lead to decline. Here Hannetjie debunks 3 myths about ageing.
Read Hannetjie’s practical tips for reducing stress and keeping calm in these turbulent times.
Hannetjie clarifies the issue of emotional eating and what our subconscious may be trying to tell us when we carry excess weight.
Here Hannetjie explains how to best handle conflict in your personal relationships.
Read Hannetjie’s heart-felt thoughts on motherhood.
Contact details
Dr Hannetjie van Zyl-Edeling is a counselling psychologist with a private practice, accredited mediator, public speaker, artist and author who lives and works in Johannesburg. She has also studied dietetics. Her Ph.D. deals with the mind-body connection, specifically regarding bulimia.
Tel. 0824604575
Website www.drhannetjie.co.za
Email address han@emlct.com
Pinterest: Dr Hannetjie (@hannetjie777)
Vind uit wat Hannetjie te sê het oor ‘n gelukkige huwelik en kry ‘n blik op haar skilderwerk.
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The free podcast series Calm, Clear & Helpful is available on iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Player FM and Iono.fm – I hope you’ll subscribe!
How to live to be 100 or more - Attributed to George Burns
Thank you to Hannetjie for sharing this!
People keep asking me, “George, you are 88, how do you do it?” You make films, you do television, you give concerts, you record albums, smoke cigars, drink martinis, go out with pretty girls—how do you do it?
It’s simple. For instance, a Martini. You fill the glass with ice; then pour in some gin and a touch of dry vermouth, add an olive, and you’ve got yourself a Martini.
Today you don’t have to worry about getting old; you have to worry about rusting. So I also do exercises and walk a lot. Walking is even easier than making a Martini. I take one foot and put it in front of the other foot; then I take the other foot and put it in front of the other foot, and before I know it I’m walking. And you don’t even need an olive. Every morning, I walk a mile and a half. My advice is to walk whenever you can. It’s free; you feel better and look trim.
If you want to live to be 100 or older, you can’t just sit around waiting for it to happen. You have to get up and go after it. There’s no point in kidding yourself. When you get older you slow down, you wear out a little. But right now I’m 88, and there isn’t a thing I can’t do today that I couldn’t do when I was 18. I wasn’t so hot when I was 25 either. I saved everything for now. I hate to brag, but I’m very good at ‘now’.
Here are my other secrets for long life:
· Think positive. If you ask me what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it’ s avoiding worry, stress, and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it. Worry, stress, and tension are not only unpleasant but can shorten your life.
My attitude is, if something is beyond your control, there is no point worrying about it. And if you can do something about it, then there is still nothing to worry about. I feel that way when the plane I am on is bouncing around in turbulence. It’s not my problem. The pilot gets a lot of money to fly that plane; let him worry about it.
I can honestly say I was not even uptight about my heart bypass several years ago. It was beyond my control. It was the doctor’s business.
When I came round from the anaesthetic, I heard the surgeon say, ‘George, you did great. You’re just fine.’
I said, ‘Doctor, I wasn’t the least bit concerned.’
‘Really?’ he said,’ I was a nervous wreck.’
Even that didn’t bother me. Then he handed me his bill, and I passed out.
· Stay active. I know that for some people retirement works out fine. They enjoy it. I also know that for a great many others it presents lots of problems.
To me the biggest danger of retirement is what it can do to your attitude. When you have all that time on your hands, you think old, you act old. It’s a mistake. I see people who, the minute they get to be 65, start rehearsing to be old. They practice grunting when they get up, and by the time they get to be 70 they’ve made it—they’re a hit—they are now old.
Not me. When you’re around my age you’ve got to keep occupied. You’ve got to do something that will get you out of bed. I never made any money in bed. Yes, find something that will make you get out of bed—like an interest, a hobby, a business, a pretty girl—there we are, back in bed again. At my age at least let me talk about it.
· Challenge yourself. When my wife Gracie retired in 1958, I could have retired too. Even today I don’t have to travel round giving concerts, making movies, doing television specials, recording country-music albums, being a sex symbol.
· I firmly believe that you should keep working as long as you can. And if you can’t, try to find something that will interest you. Don’t wait for it to happen; make it happen. Remember, you can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
· I look to the future, because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life. I feel sorry for people who live in the past. I know it was cheaper then, but you can’t keep looking in a rear-view mirror—unless you enjoy having a stiff neck. If you really think your life is over and you have no place to go, I advise you to take very short steps. It’ll take you longer to get there.
· I don’t live in the past; I live in a house in Beverly Hills. It’s more comfortable. Actually, you may not believe this, but I don’t waste time looking through scrap-books of my career or rereading my old reviews—they were painful enough to read the first time. I find it’s best to fall in love with what you’re doing today. The things I did yesterday I was in love with yesterday. But that romance is over. I’m very fickle.
· There’s an old saying. ‘Life begins at 40.’ That’s silly—life begins every morning when you wake up. Open your mind to it: don’t just sit there—do things. Swim the English Channel; find a cure for the common cold; be the first to go over the Niagara falls in a rocking chair. You see, the possibilities are endless.
· If all else fails, try doing something nice for somebody who doesn’t expect it. You’ll be surprise how good you feel. The Scouts have the right idea. Many’s the time I’ve helped a young lady across the street and over to my place. You should see all my badges.
The point is, with a good positive attitude and a little bit of luck, there’s no reason you can’t live to be 100. Once you’ve done that you’ve really got it made, because very few people die over 100.
Original music by Mart-Marie Snyman
Thumbnail image: Unsplash. Model used.
Photograph of Dr Hannetjie van Zyl-Edeling: supplied