Live your life according to your highest values
Dr. John Demartini, world-renowned human behaviour specialist, educator, author and business consultant, explains how determining our priorities enables us to reconnect with our true purpose, live empowered lives, improve our relationships and face our fears. These aren’t vague promises. The principles Dr. Demartini teaches are informed by history’s great minds, supported by science and shaped into practical tools.
In 2005, I had the privilege of interviewing Dr. John Demartini for rooi rose magazine. I also attended The Breakthrough Experience™, a surprisingly accessible program considering the profound philosophical insights and wide-ranging scientific principles involved. This inner transformation process changed my life.
Eighteen years later I’m still applying many of the principles I learnt, but there is always more to take in. Every time I watch one of Dr. Demartini’s videos or return to one of his books I am astounded by the scope of his work and his extraordinary ability to weave the multitude of aspects he touches on into a coherent and illuminating whole.
How the boy who struggled to read became an educator who travels the world
It may well be Dr. Demartini’s first-hand experience of hardship that makes him such a credible teacher. John was born with a hand and foot which turned inward and had to wear braces from an early age. The doctors said he would never be able to move with speed, but through pure willpower he taught himself to run.
His second major challenge arose in first grade. He was a left-handed dyslexic. His teacher, who knew little about learning difficulties, told his parents he’d never read, write or communicate normally and should focus on sport. John passed his primary school exams with the help of a friend who willingly repeated every piece of reading, which he then memorised.
When John’s family moved from Houston to Richmond, his life changed. “In Houston I was a good athlete. In Richmond I was a punching bag for bullies.
“I failed to progress academically and eventually asked my parents if I could leave school and go to California to become a surfer. They agreed. I was fourteen years old.”
Image: Unsplash. Model used.
A life-changing revelation
Living in a tent, John rode the waves of California and Hawaii. He ate the fruit growing on tropical trees and, unknowingly, ingested the seeds of a poisonous plant. This made him so ill that he lay unconscious in his tent for four days.
A woman who lived nearby found him and took care of him. When he was strong enough, she took him to the nearest health store. There he saw a poster that would change his life: an advertisement for a talk by Dr. Paul Bragg, a naturopath who had a revolutionary influence on the American health care system.
Dr. Bragg made an indelible impression on the seventeen-year-old John. At the end of his talk, he led those present in a meditation so that they could discover their vocation. John had an epiphany: he wanted to study the universal laws, especially with regard to health and human consciousness. He wanted to travel the world to pass this knowledge on to others; he longed to become a philosopher, teacher and healer.
John’s learning difficulties stood between him and his dreams. He mustered the courage to ask Dr. Bragg for advice. Dr. Bragg told John to repeat, with conviction, every day for the rest of his life: "I am a genius and I apply my wisdom." He assured John if could "see" it, he could become it.
John went home and, with the help of dictionaries and encyclopedias, learned to read. He passed the secondary school equivalent test and started studying, both formally and on his own.
Image: Unsplash
He read up to eighteen or twenty hours a day. “Cosmology piqued my interest in astronomy, which in turn led to physics, metaphysics, theology, mythology, anthropology and other fields.” He developed a formidable reading speed. In 48 years of research, he has studied over 30 000 books across all the defined academic disciplines.
After completing his B.Sc. degree, John trained as a chiropractor. He eventually exchanged the consulting room for the podium and realised his dream to share the stage with esteemed teachers such as Dr. Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra.
Travelling 300 days a year (with the exception of lockdown periods during the pandemic), Dr. Demartini remains committed to inspiring others to recognise their own potential, discover their true purpose, open their hearts and create a life that exceeds their wildest expectations. Believing that, in unison, the head, heart and soul can accomplish more, he focuses on spiritual truths which can be backed up by scientific research and applied in everyday life.
Which 5 things should you know before getting into a long-term love relationship?
What is it that drives you?
Take a minute to consider the things most important to you. This may be your family, friends, career, a hobby, sport, spiritual practice, or other aspect of your life. The combinations are endless. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could spend more time and energy and focus your daily actions on what you find the most meaningful?
A crucial theme Dr. Demartini introduces during The Breakthrough Experience™ is the importance of our individual set of values. In this context, values refer to priorities rather than moral values. Our priorities direct our lives more dramatically than we may realise: “The core drive of mastery and human behaviour is values.”
Dr. Demartini identifies seven value fields:
spiritual
mental
vocational
financial
familial
social
and physical.
No field is “better” than another and no two people share an identical set of values.
Whether we are aware of it or not, we order our values in a specific way. Once you determine the hierarchy of your values, your decisions and preferences start making sense.
Dr. Loretta Ferrucci explains how applying Dr. Demartini’s principles has helped her gain clarity and relief during a challenging period in her life.
How do you rank your fields?
Your life shows you what lies at the top of your list. That which you value highly will emerge the strongest in your reality. This is where you are “disciplined, reliable, focused and inspired.” You lowest values are “where you procrastinate, hesitate and are frustrated.”
What you value highly will inspire and energise you; you’ll attend to it without needing to be reminded to do so. On the other hand, you’ll need external motivation to get to those things featuring lower on your list.
In practical terms, you can ascertain the hierarchy of your values by considering
what you often think about
what you love to talk about
what you can’t wait to study and learn
what your dreams and goals are
what you fill your space with
how you prefer to spend your money
where there is order in your life.
Here’s how to determine your values
Dr. Demartini developed a free, private, online tool to determine your unique hierarchy of values. To access this 13-step exercise, go to https://drdemartini.com/values/ and click on “Get started (free)”. You’ll be brought to a page where Dr. Demartini talks you through the process (on video). Keep your notebook or preferred way of taking notes handy!
How can knowing your values benefit you?
Achieve your highest vision
In Dr. Demartini’s words, “the hierarchy of your values determine how you perceive (what you selectively attend to) and how you act (what you selectively intend upon) in your world and therefore they determine your immediate destiny.”
Recognising your values can help you get clear on and achieve your highest vision.
“Find out what’s really meaningful to you so you can’t wait to get up in the morning and do it in a way that serves others. Being clear on your purpose will inspire you to turn on your executive centre, set your goals and take action in line with what is most valuable to you. You will be empowered. You will excel, have more confidence, and live with eustress, adaptivity and resilience.”
Enhance your relationships
Knowing your own values as well as those of others can have a remarkable effect on your relationships. To truly understand another person, you need to appreciate their distinctive value system. When you take the trouble to find out what is most important to them, you can communicate with them in terms of what they hold dear. For instance, mothers who successfully negotiate with teenagers know what their teens value most, be it their sport, social program or appearance. This skill is helpful in many areas – including generating sales.
“In this manner you respect and communicate what is important to you in terms of what is important to them. You don’t autocratically project your values onto them and tell them how they should be living; neither do you try to live according to their values. When both parties respect each other’s priorities, people can be loved and appreciated for who they are.
“Whenever you have injected the values of others, those values compete with your own highest values and create an internal conflict that results in uncertainties and often repression. Instead of living as you truly are you are attempting to live as you think you should be due to the comparison.”
When you attend The Breakthrough Experience™ (also available as a book), you find it easier to accept the differences between you and those you interact with. You learn, for example, that each and every person is generous as well as stingy, depending on their values or those of the observer. A sports enthusiast whose highest value lies in the physical field may spend thousands on sports equipment, yet criticise a book lover who ranks high in the mental field and spends the same amount on books.
Face your fears
Knowing your values alerts you to your fears, says Clarissa Judd, Director of the Demartini Institute. "In their hearts, people know what they are destined to do. They often just don’t admit it to themselves because fear in one of the seven areas of life holds them back. They believe that if they live their dream, they will be financially neglected or rejected by their family, social group or spiritual authority. Other fears are that they are not mentally or physically equipped for the task, or that they will fail. Through Dr. Demartini’s work you can overcome these fears and develop strategies to make your calling a reality.”
Knowing your unique set of values has many other applications. In a nutshell: “The value determining process enables you to become a master of your destiny, not a victim of your history.”
Tune into the free, weekly podcast series Calm, Clear & Helpful on iTunes, Spotify, Player FM or Iono.fm and learn how to be happier and have healthier relationships.
Contact details
More information at https://drdemartini.com/
To learn more about The Breakthrough Experience™ go to https://demartini.fm/breakthrough4
Clarissa Judd: clarissa@drdemartini.com or 011 011 9093.
Thumbnail image: Pexels
Other images: Unsplash
Image of Dr. John Demartini: supplied
This article contains selections from articles originally written for rooi rose magazine.