ODD: Do you have a stronger than strong-willed child?
Some children’s defiance has a neurological basis: it could be Oppositional Defiance Disorder, or ODD. A general practitioner with a special interest in neurological conditions describes what ODD is, which signs to look for, how it is diagnosed, and how it can be treated. It is important that parents of children with ODD find extra support.
“We need people in this world who are fearless, determined, principled and immovable in their values,” says dr. Shirley*, a general practitioner with a special interest in neurological conditions. “But if you have a child who is like a stallion to be harnessed, you will require discernment, support and a lot of grit to implement that special brand of ‘power steering’.
“You have surely read about a strong-willed child. Many of the characteristics can be ascribed to an inherent temperament which is inborn in the child’s nature.”
Working with, not against, your child’s temperament
“The goal of raising children is not to create a child but to guide this special creation to be all they were intended to become. We need to work with the temperament, follow the way in which he or she is ‘naturally bent’ and not insist on bending the growing tree to conform with our ideas and ideals.
“Yes, family values must be instilled, but not at the expense of breaking the child’s worth or fracturing the special relationship between parent and child.”
Could it be Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
“Some children display a significantly increased level of resistance to being guided, from a young age. If there are several of the criteria listed below, he or she may well have a neurological basis for their defiance – currently described as Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD. In this case, parenting is not an even journey. You spend most days ‘at ODDS’ with your child’s will.
“At least four of the following symptoms must be present consistently for more than six months to consider a diagnosis of ODD:
Loses temper
Argues with adults
Actively defies or refuses to comply with adults’ requests or rules
Deliberately annoys people
Blames others for his/her mistakes or misbehaviour
Easily annoyed by others
Angry and resentful
Spiteful or mean
Image Unsplash, model used
“This can look similar to ADHD, anxiety, or hormonal moodiness.
“A qualified professional will evaluate
the frequency and intensity of symptoms
the impact across multiple settings and relationships
and the presence of other conditions and learning barriers.”
Lees ‘n Afrikaanse artikel oor Oppositional Defiant Disorder met dr. Isaura Ribeiro se raad
ODD can be different in boys and girls
“The symptoms may look different in boys and girls: boys tend to be aggressive and have explosive anger while girls may refuse to co-operate. Underlying both presentations is a persistent resistance to anyone in a position of authority over them.
“ODD is more prevalent in boys than girls and is often accompanied by ADHD.”
Other signs
“ODD should be considered if there is often:
Tantrums after school
Consequences make him/her more agitated
Simple reminders, like ‘put your clothes in the wash bin’, trigger aggression or a melt-down
Consequences and disciplinary techniques don’t seem to have much effect
Rules are seen as unfair or stupid or negotiable
He/she hears you but chooses to ignore you
Tells lies
Tantrums in public
Seems to seek out conflict to push your buttons
Refuses to accept responsibility for wrong-doing
“It is shown that a child’s behavior is usually worst at home! The comfort is to know that they act out and show their raw feelings because they feel safe at home.
At school
“If there is ODD, however, the display may be impressive at school too:
Pushing or being rough with school friends
Throwing objects
Teasing and picking fights to annoy others
‘Forgets’ to do homework
When asked to pick up paintbrushes, becomes angry with the art teacher
“Remember that a child who is struggling academically or socially may act this way too – behind anger may be frustration, self-loathing, bullying, abuse, or fear.”
How to treat ODD
“Oppositional defiant disorder is a neurodevelopmental condition and family therapy with problem-solving training in conjunction with medication is indicated.
“The goals include improved development of self-control, anger management, compliance with parenting, and making friends (and keeping them, not as prisoners but as friends who want to be with him or her.)
“Functioning improves in academic, behavioural and social arenas when parents are supported and the brain is aided by a “stop and think” medication.
“All learning is enhanced by positive feedback and the taste of success. Kids with ODD seldom ‘get it right’ or ‘keep it together’ and are instead bowled away by their stallion-strong insistence and waves of anger. They truly struggle to harness the wild horses in their emotions and muscles!”
What about medication?
“Medication is not intended to bridle the ‘stallion to be harnessed’ and make him a docile school pony. No, we need the stallions in this world to push for change and stand their ground for all the right reasons.
“These kids have a horse-power determination that can be purposefully embraced. It is a rough rodeo and a long ride for the parents to ‘break their horses in’ and tap into their strengths without breaking anybody’s back, but learning to thrive - and not just survive - with your stallion is more than worthwhile.”
Dr. Shirley* is a general practitioner with a special interest in neurological conditions. She prefers not to supply her contact details. She is adamant that this article should not replace a professional evaluation or discussion and should not lead to specific decisions or conclusions.
Images: Unsplash. Models used.